Graciela was waiting anxiously in class. She was waiting for Mr. Brown to walk into the classroom with that enigmatic aura that just drove her crazy. Mr. Brown, who happened to be the Geography teacher, could barely understand the impact his boyish smile had left on the tender mind of his teenage student. He barely noticed her already rosy cheeks turning redder as he asked her about the daily lessons. Most of us have come across these crushes at some point. Sometimes young adolescents fall in love with a member of the opposite sex who may not reciprocate their feelings or may not be in a position to do so. But these crushes are often ignored. These infatuations are supposed to just disappear in time. But the fact is that this is not the case. People never forget the person they like until they are replaced by new ones. And if this is not dealt with properly, those people will become people who constantly need someone by their side to ensure their existence. Their confidence level is lowered when they are single. They are constantly on the rebound.
Such crushing is best described as “Limerencia”. It was a term coined by the scientist Tennov. “Limerence” is an attraction towards a member of the opposite sex that is something between love and infatuation. When it is reciprocated, it becomes romantic love and when it is not, it is usually passed on to someone else. But the fact is that it has to be reciprocated by someone or the other. The person having limerence of an individual often imagines romantic gestures of the limerent object, and this imaginary reciprocity fills his heart with pleasure.
The causes of limerence are many. But the most prominent is the lack of adequate care from infancy. The tender minds of adolescence need proper care and nurturing and, above all, they need love. In most cases, children who lack these will often fall in love with anyone who shows them little attention. Sometimes that same person turns out to be your neighbor, a partner, or some young teacher of the opposite sex. I should mention that these teenage crushes do not necessarily occur in young people. Rather, in most cases, teens fall in love with people who are thirty to forty years older than they are. These people often settle for someone who may not even live up to their preferences. But it is a constant guarantee to have someone by your side.
Limerence is not exclusive to teenagers, it can happen to anyone and everyone. And when limerence is unrequited, an individual’s confidence and self-esteem is spoiled. They simply cannot live in peace until they find someone who truly corresponds to them.
Almost all people experience some kind of shyness towards their loved one, especially when the attraction is incipient, but in Lima a strong feeling of nervousness worries the individual that makes it difficult for them to behave normally in the presence of a Lima object.
Real love denotes care and understanding for the other person, but limerence is self-centered. But unlike puppy love, it never fades over time. It must always be transferred or reciprocated. If you love someone and are not reciprocated, you can preserve the sweet memories of your heartbreaker that would give you comfort in later years. If you are in love with someone, they would fade after some time. But if you have a limerence, it will leave its mark on your heart and even after years, you will remember it with pain and despair. A limerance takes an individual out of nowhere, it will drive you crazy and you will try to reach the limerent object at all costs. Most of us have been through Lima at some point. If the limerence is not reciprocated, it becomes difficult to bear the pain. But life teaches us to endure this experience. And once you learn to live with pain, you reach a level of emotional maturity and your life moves on and after years when you reflect on the past, you realize that you are not the same person once again.