If you are having difficulties in the workplace, it could be because you are bringing some incorrect assumptions and expectations to your job. Many people unknowingly bring their emotional baggage to work, and if they’re not careful it can turn a job into a nightmare. The workplace has several elements: your colleagues, your boss, and your actual job. All of these interact to make your daily work life what it is.
It is critical to understand that there are several types of bosses, and your survival in the workplace depends on knowing which type you have. For example, there is the kind of sincere support that wants you to do your best and helps you do it; the laissez-faire type who gives you little direction but little hassle if you leave them alone; the anxious boss who wants to micromanage you; the boss “friend” who behaves as if they were friends; the critical boss for whom nothing is good enough; and the bully boss who lives to intimidate and exploit his workers.
If you have the understanding boss type, most of the following won’t apply to you, but for all other types, reading this article could make the difference between a happy work life and a hell of a life. Here are some basic strategies not only to survive but also to thrive at work:
It is important to never draw your boss’s attention to your shortcomings. Try to frame any mistakes to the best of your ability. If you made a mistake and they need to know, present the information to them in the least self-incriminating way possible. If you have discovered a mistake in your work, answer their questions honestly, but do not go into detail about how it went wrong. You must provide them with the facts; no ammo with which they can harm you.
Make sure you do nothing to lower the morale of your co-workers. Being late or looking like you’re not doing your job creates an atmosphere of resentment among your colleagues and annoys your boss. Most bosses like it when you’re in the background, quietly attending to your work; They hate when you force them to take time out of their own tasks to deal with the problems you’ve created. If you don’t have enough to do, consider reaching out to your boss and asking for more work, but remember that this could backfire. Rather, it may be time to look elsewhere for greater challenges.
If your boss is overly critical or a bully, management will often lean him over you, and your best option might be to leave. Administrations tend not to be fair or kind; they prefer to maintain the status quo and take the path of least resistance. People in power may have promoted their boss because they like this person or because they share similar attitudes. They may not know or care about being harassed by their boss. Remember, it is easier to replace a person at a lower level than one at a higher level.
Make yourself essential; then you will have some bargaining power. If the powers that be really need your particular skill set, it will be easier to negotiate salary increases, vacations, and other benefits. However, never assume that you are irreplaceable. The workplace is not the bastion of kindness and gentleness.
Getting along with everyone is essential. No matter how good your job is, if you don’t find it pleasant and cooperative, the workplace will not be a pleasant place. People are often promoted because they get along with their superiors and colleagues rather than because of the quality of their work. You don’t have to like all of them, and you’re probably not up for it, but you’ll have to look the way you do.
Conflicts in the workplace make bosses very unhappy and are likely to have negative consequences if the boss discovers that you and a colleague disagree. There’s also the possibility that a disgruntled coworker is one of those deranged guys who feel the need to get revenge on anyone who bothers them. You don’t want this person to try to turn your work life into hell. Work should be like driving – do it defensively
Don’t be a martyr in the workplace – never sacrifice your own needs for work. There is no guarantee that regularly working longer hours or going beyond the call of duty will earn you respect, a raise, or a promotion. Sometimes it will, and sometimes this has nothing to do with whether it will succeed or not. Remember, your boss is not your loved one. They may appreciate your extra efforts, but they may easily be happy to exploit you for all it’s worth.
The workplace is not the place where you will heal your emotional wounds or compensate for any child neglect. Your boss’s approval can’t make up for your parents’ lack of approval. If you try too hard to be “loved” by your boss, consider buying a pet or talking to a therapist.
You can’t really be friends with your boss. Remember, they have the power to fire or promote you. A boss who wants to be friends with his employees is being unfair and inappropriate. When it’s time to push, they have all the cards. Any confidences you share with them could be used against you if the personal relationship turns sour, and any confidences they share with you could ultimately make them feel uncomfortable, and then you will have to leave.
A hypercritical, micromanaging, or anxious / aggressive boss may be appeased if they see that you are stable, consistent, and capable of producing high-quality work. On the other hand, it could be someone who, despite all your efforts, can’t help but give you a hard time. If this is wearing you out, you may need to leave so you can find a boss who is truly capable of appreciating and perhaps even rewarding your efforts.
Think twice about romance in the workplace; you’re going to have to see this person every day while you’re at work, once you’re done. Statistically, most relationships you start won’t end in marriage, so consider whether you want to go to work every day and have to hang out with your possibly angry ex, or worse still, still hung up on you.
Telling a coworker will almost certainly backfire; You just caused trouble for your boss by pointing out a problem that you now have to solve. The bosses have a lot on their plate. They usually want you to do your job and not bother them. When you present even a legitimate problem to them, it makes them see you as someone who increases their stress level.
And then of course there is the coworker you are telling and how they will feel about you after the fact. If they continue to work together, the environment will be tense, at best. Consider very carefully whether you want your name to be attached to this issue. Is there an anonymous way this information can be passed on to your superiors?
Don’t avoid work, but don’t think you have to do other people’s work either. Learn to say “No” sometimes and do it without saying “No” and with a big smile on your face. Say things like, “I’d love to, as soon as I’m done with these other tasks,” and they’ll take the work elsewhere. In the workplace, impressions unfortunately count for a lot.
Being considered cooperative and helpful is more important than actually being that way. Don’t forget, you could be someone extremely helpful, and yet (let’s say someone has misunderstood you or is even malicious with you) they unfairly have a reputation for being difficult. It is essential that you carefully manage your reputation at work.
Above all, be strategic. The workplace is not the setting for deep, meaningful relationships or sincere sincerity; It is the place where you perform your tasks as efficiently and conscientiously as possible, while still remembering to take care of your own needs and present yourself in the best possible light to everyone around you. Remember that you set the tone for how they treat you; If you tolerate disrespect or exploitation, your colleagues or supervisors will think it’s okay to continue treating you that way.
Going to work is much more than chasing the satisfaction of a job well done. Knowing how to strategically negotiate the minefield of the workplace will make it much easier for you to stay out of trouble and enjoy your work.
(C) Marcia Sirota MD, 2010