Now that we’ve appreciated the importance of awareness, what’s next? Simple, ASK for feedback. That will be your second step in deepening your awareness of your public speaking skills. However, this is a step that most people, read egomaniacs, have trouble with. (smile)
If you find yourself overreacting or in denial, you are one of them! Destroy your defense mechanism for a while and see if this “know-it-all” (that’s me!) has anything worth listening to. We are all self-aware people and naturally, in our right frame of mind, we would like to be complimented. And this is not a bad thing. It motivates you. He tells you what your audience likes. But if you plan to tune out the criticism or suggestions your audience has for you, you will lose out in the long run. You will have no idea of your blind spots (see First A: AWARENESS) and have deprived yourself of taking your public speaking skills to another level.
So where should you start? Here’s something I use frequently and it works great for me. Try it for size!
BEFORE HIS SPEECH Get 2-3 trusted friends in your audience to evaluate your speech. (If you don’t know anyone, then make at least 1-2 friends before you go on stage. It’s part of my “Build Trust” strategy that I’ll elaborate on in another post.) Tell them that you are working on a few areas. Let’s say slow down, add a story, or practice role-playing. Anything. And ask them to be your eyes. The most important thing is to tell them to be honest. No patronizing (leave it to the rest of your audience). That’s why you have to trust them! You can ask for more eyes if you feel comfortable. In my opinion, the more, the better. If possible, find every opportunity to record your speech. Esp. if it is a humorous speech, you can judge the success by the intensity of the laughter of your audience. And if you can record your speech on video, even better!
And then proceed to do your thing!
AFTER HIS SPEECH
Ask your friends for feedback, tell them to be honest and objective. Did you manage to do the things you told them you would do? Did it work for you? How could you improve? How did you feel as an audience?
Solicit feedback from your audience as well. Ask them what they like and dislike about your speech. Tell them to be honest (if you honestly don’t mind). And as they share their feedback with you, you can take mental notes or jot them down. These are some of the questions I will ask you. What do you think my message is? Is there something unique in my speech? How could it improve? From the point of view of the audience, do you have any suggestions for me? Notice that there is no negativity in my questions. Do that. Your audience is more likely to be honest with you. Because a question like “Do you think I have a weakness in my way of speaking?” you’ll often garner condescending responses like “Of course not. I love your speech!” And even if they do that, ask them what part of your speech they like. But why do they like your speech?
In short, dig in! Collect as much information as you can. This will come in handy in your third part when you take ACTION!
What I have shared with you only works if you go in with the mindset of wanting to be a better speaker. It’s BS if you think there’s nothing you can improve. Even the best public speaker in the world can take his oratory skills to a greater height. And since you are not, there will always be room for improvement for you. (smiles) The question is do you want to be better than your last performance? If so, change your attitude. Be fair to yourself: ask for feedback!