Many of us are painfully familiar with the anxiety and stress that ‘happy’ holidays can bring. That drowning feeling in indecision, that feeling of being left behind, that inability to enjoy events because we may not get it all done if we relax even for a brief moment. Does a frantic, familiar tingle start at the back of your neck when you think about what to get Aunt Julie this year? Do you swallow the fear in your throat and settle for another ceramic deer statue for Cousin Ellen, just because she saw one of hers on her mantle ten years ago?
Do the gifts you receive reflect the panic and anxiety building up in another person? Is this the third year in a row that you’ve received a pink size three sweater from your sweetheart, even though he should know by now that you’re not a size three, you hate pink, and you never wear sweaters?
It’s not uncommon for gift-giving to create stress and panic, even when the recipient of the gift is someone you’ve known your entire life. We try to select the ‘perfect gift no matter what’ even when the other person is trying to do the exact same thing FOR US.
If the thought of delving into holiday shopping leaves you breathless and on the brink of panic, take a deep breath and try some of these simple ideas.
- Make a list – but not gifts…
Remember the 3 by 5 card approach in debate class? Each topic received a card, and that card contained suggestions, not the full text of the discussion point. Take this idea and use it as a gift guide. Start this as soon as you think of it in the year (like NOW!) and you’ll have an invaluable shopping resource for the holiday season. At the top of a card, write the person’s name. Below that, put the gift you gave last year (no point in risking doubling it). Then just below that, add pearls of wisdom… do you play tennis? Does he fly fish? Lover of jet skis? Library mouse? Tech buff? Keep that list of hobbies as up-to-date as possible, and if in doubt, ask Jerry if he still goes out on that sailboat every weekend. If the sailboat sank last year, a new set of flotation cushions may not be well received.
- Use Gift Registry services, and don’t forget about yourself – Gift registry services aren’t just for brides… encourage your shoppers to register with online registry services and leave suggestions, hints, and even details. I prefer the one at http://www.mygiftlist.com – give it a try. Whatever you decide to wear, get your gift-target friends involved early on so they’ve had time to post their preferences long before the shopping crunch hits.
- Pick a purchase date and keep it. – For example, choose two Mondays after Thanksgiving weekend (for 2006, this will be December 4). This gives you two weekends after that US holiday (through the Friday after Thanksgiving), stay away from crowded parking lots and pack and ship things in plenty of time.
- Make a budget and stick to it. – If you have $235 to spend on gifts and you are shopping on the ground (not online), go to the bank or ATM, take out that $235 and spend ONLY what you have with you. Keep credit cards at home. Put an extra $20 in the back of your wallet for gas money and wrapping paper, but spend only what you plan to spend on gifts. If you’re afraid of carrying cash (and there are places on this planet where such caution is wise!), ask for a debit card or use checks.
- Shop early in the day and deal with smaller, quieter crowds. – Know your crowd control limits. If you find it annoying to queue at the checkout counters for ten minutes, make your purchases as early in the day as possible. Don’t put yourself in situations that you know will increase your stress level.
- Shop online and let someone else handle the shipping. – Use SECURE sites that prominently display the seals of TrustE, Hacker Safe, Better Business Bureau and the like. Look for secure shopping carts: Look for HTTPS:// in the cart address while going to the checkout page. Many browsers will alert you if the security certificate associated with the site is out of date or inaccurate.
- Can’t find the perfect gift? consider the time – If you can’t find the right gift, find the right gift certificate or create your own certificate booklet for services like a personal shopper day, a month of lawn mowing, a three-week laundry deferral, ten errands. Sometimes the most meaningful gift is the gift of your own time and attention.
- Above all, don’t panic. – Take a deep breath, light a scented candle, relax and smile. This is not the season to get carried away with panic, anxiety, guilt and annoyance. It is the season to express our love and concern for our family and friends.